88: Five

The claimant cites the following five reasons for leaving the job.

1. Whether I do or do not take it and scream like a bitch is not suitable copy for the office newsletter
2. Yes, I was born here and I'm not taking someone's job when I'm not entitled because Wigan is part of the UK.
3. No, I have never found all that jiggling distracts me and no, I don't sometimes just have a quick feel.
4. The reason I joined the club was because I was Northern Junior Swimming Champion two years running and I always join a club. It is not to keep a fucking eye on you all.
5. Having no sense of humour is not something I've been regularly accused of. However, I will admit I prefer jokes where I am not the punchline.

“That's perfect. And we'll send it to their solicitors today.”

“Could we just change number 3 a bit? It's true about the jiggling bit but most guys do spend a lot of time with their hands in their pants and I don't want to lie.”