Wednesday, 20 March 2013

324: If You Can’t Beat Them

What is this country coming to, then?  Dogs, schoolboys and servants only ever work when one is able to beat them soundly.  Everyone knows that is the case, generations have known it.  England was built on the right to hand out stiff beatings regularly and with impunity.

Apparently an open hand may be permissible but no curled fists or leather belts can be allowed.  Those things are the only means available to educate and motivate the lazy, plus the birch perhaps.  If one may strike a horse with a whip, an animal who runs as fast as it is able whenever it is given its head, then why is a similar item not allowed for stable boys?  They laze in the sun, hidden behind the stables with local tarts and one has to call and call before they return, flushed and untucked, to wipe the sweat off the beautiful creatures.

Lord Holme once went three whole days without raising his hand to any creature or person on his estate.  The result?  Anarchy, that’s what.  Meals late, the Manor left cold, strangers permitted to enter the grounds and wander at will.  A day of beatings, perhaps two, was all it took to restore order.  Lord Holme’s exercise in the human psyche was abandoned as potentially dangerous to the entire nation.

There will be an urgent need to identify new ways of keeping certain elements in check.  A task force or a summit may be required.  Longer hours may do something.  Is an exhausted workforce less likely to rebel?  And lower wages, higher taxes too.  If they can barely afford to live, surely they will be more biddable.  Who would risk laziness and insubordination when he has to work long and hard to feed his family?  But would separating a few of them from their jobs anyway not work even better?

Who knows, this move could be a stroke of genius after all.

No comments:

Post a Comment