So you’re telling me that you and your dog urinated on a man laying
on the floor, a man you knew to be homeless and frequently under the influence
of drink? And you expect me to believe
that the injuries he suffered in a brutal and sustained attack, including four
broken ribs, a fractured skull, a punctured lung, severe bruising and numerous
lacerations, were nothing to do with you?
You happened upon him and assumed he was asleep and thought it would be
funny to urinate on him?
Strange what passes for humour in some places. Where I’m from we think that kind of
behaviour is vile. Disgusting. Not something to be doing to while away a
bored youth. It’s going to be a long
journey for you, son.
So can you offer any evidence it wasn’t you that also assaulted
him? Besides the size of your feet and
the lack of teeth marks from that mutt of yours. Witnesses maybe? Someone who saw you just urinate on him? Or who saw who really did it, if it wasn’t
you? Or who can confirm you were with
them at the time of the attack? Thought
not.
Well, you’re in luck because that section of the estate is covered
by CCTV cameras. There’s been so much
trouble there that the council put them up a few weeks back. So that will either show you didn’t do it, or
that you did. It’ll definitely show you pissing
on him though, won’t it. It’ll show whether
you just found him there and decided to do it on the spur of the moment, like
you claim. Or maybe you’ve done it
before and knew where you might find him?
So what I’m going to do is stick you in the cells for a while, just
while I do some checking. It might take
a while, what with all that to look at.
It stinks in there a bit, sorry.
We had some drunk guy in there earlier and he threw up then wet
himself. We meant to clean up properly
but we’ve just been stuck with this investigation. You know how it is. But it’ll smell familiar to you so I’m sure
you won’t mind.
Oh yeah, and he might be after you for a few quid for a new
coat. The old one is ruined thanks to
you. He’ll probably talk to a brief once
he’s feeling better. Look out for that
letter, now won’t you. And you might
want to get someone to read it to you if the words are too hard.
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