Tuesday, 8 January 2013

253: I Am Searching For My Dream Shoes

If I were a girl it would hardly be worth commenting on.  But no, I’m a guy, so therefore it must be because I’m a little bit strange.  Or that my proclivities lie in a different direction.  My friends have started avoiding me or at least only seeing me together in groups.  They think I’ll be a danger to them if they meet me alone.

I have lots of boxes to tick for shoes so it’s bound to take me time to find the perfect pair.  They mustn’t rub, because the skin on my feet is delicate and prone to damage.  They must last longer than five minutes, because I can’t face the angst of shoe shopping more than once per year.  They must be neither fashionable nor unfashionable, because I prefer to avoid aligning myself to any particular trend.

The colour is important because I have no desire to spend time in the mornings considering whether they match or clash with my outfit for the day.  The material is important because manmade makes ones feet sweat and leather sometimes offends.  The heel is important because I am already rather taller than many of my associates and I don’t wish to add any unnecessary inches to my stature.  The fastenings are important because slip-ons are dated yet laces sometimes loosen even with the securest of knots.

So you see why I say my shoes should be dream shoes.  I don’t wish for a designer name or for something everyone will admire.  I simply want precisely the right shoes and so far they exist only in my dreams.

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