So if I tell you how he did it, you can help me decide what we do with him, OK? They said “It’s your duck, you deal with it,” and then they left. I didn’t even know I had a duck. Well anyway, he was drunk to start with but you could probably guess that with Charlie. I don’t think he’d been to bed from the night before and he staggered in their direction, shaking his can of Frosty Jack’s. I think he was going to flip the tab and spray them but it slipped out of his hand and sailed through the air towards them. It hit one, the one that’s mine apparently. I think it died right off because its neck flopped to the side at a funny angle, like its head was too heavy all of a sudden. I stopped looking then and I watched Charlie run away, sober as can be in a flash. I think I loved that duck, even just for a moment. So, what is a suitable punishment for someone who kills your duck?