I don’t know what to do with that boy of mine, really I don’t. I’ve brought him up the best I can, given the circumstances. Tell me, what would you have done?
He left the house halfway through me asking him about the holidays, that frightful hat stuffed over his hair and his eyes barely visible beneath his fringe. At least he’s wearing a coat these days, even if it is two sizes too big. He spent a couple of years going everywhere practically half-dressed, however wintry it was outside.
All I asked him was whether he wanted to go to his grandfather’s at the start of the week or the end of the week. Not that difficult a question, is it? But he flatly refused to come at all, got really stroppy about it as well. He just repeated, “I don’t want to,” over and over. He managed to order his Subway between shouts and then he started swearing at me. I don’t know what the people in that place must have thought of him.
I hoped he would understand why I have to go. He lost his own father when he was ten and now I’m losing mine. My mother is looking after him but she doesn't think he’ll last the summer out. I want to see him whilst some of my Daddy is still in there. I want to see him whilst he still remembers he is my Daddy.
Do you know what he said to me then? He said, “Look, please, I really don't want to, can't you just leave it?” He was so quiet I could only just catch him. “I can’t go.”
That made me realize how hard this whole thing is on him. He’s trying to grow up and be the man of the family when he’s still only a boy really. I wanted him to come with me to support me through my hard time, but that’s not fair. I need to support him because maybe he’s losing his second father figure.
But I have to be there for them both. So who will be there for me?
Today's story was prompted by another #fridayflash by Nick Bryan. You can read it here http://www.nickbryan.com/2013/04/fridayflash-donwanna.html