I only have one vote but when everyone else is at loggerheads and decisions tied, all you really need is one vote. At times like that I've never been so popular.
Being an independent I have no party whip to respond to. Mostly party politics is enough to ensure the lot in power push through whatever they want. Being in Opposition is much harder than you’d think, harder to motivate the troops to come along and stand up against introducing new laws allowing open competition in the insurance market for example. Mid-term, when it’s raining and the bill is extremely tedious, just about anything could get through.
I never expected to win on the ‘Save our town centres’ ticket, but I stood in a constituency where all the major candidates were exposed as liars and cheats and philanderers in the run up to the vote, so the local women decided to teach them all a lesson. Now I have a seat in Parliament, no party alliances to tie my hands and my conscience to guide me through.
Today the vote is on MP allowances. It’s likely to be very close and I’ve had some of the biggest names in the main parties courting me for almost six hours. Several have bought me drinks and I idly wonder if those will end up on this year’s expenses for anyone. I’ve also managed to get a better desk and a hearing for my own town centre bill during the course of the day.
Of course, I have no doubt at all which way I will vote. All my receipts are in two tins in the dresser cupboard and I am very particular what goes in which. But it doesn’t hurt to keep them guessing, does it?
Inspired by “Vote due on link between village of Dull and US town of Boring”