Saturday, 2 June 2012

33: Half a Unit

When I’m not with him it feels like I’m missing something, a limb maybe or my clothes, like in that dream when you are naked in a shopping centre.  I’ve never felt like this before, even when I was married briefly in college.

The weekends are the worst.  Weekdays are a good mix between spending time together and having the space to think about him.  My favourite is to imagine things between us as I know they’ll develop in the future.  A house, nice car, maybe a couple of cute children that wouldn’t look out of place on an advert, a shaggy white dog.  Our wedding will be intimate, in a country church, with few family and only very close friends.  I don’t want to share that special day with any more people than I have to.  It’s more important to us to be married than to have the dream big white wedding.

I caught him looking at me and that’s how it all started.  That’s when I knew he felt the same as I do.  He came out of his office, tapped his fingers on the doorframe and walked towards the photocopier on some pretext or other.  The copier is near my desk and he didn’t even have anything with him.  He caught my eye, gave a funny little smile and scuttled back into his office.  I made a special effort from then on, an extra spray of Angel, a plunging neckline to show off my assets.  True, he tried to avoid me to seem professional, but you’d expect that from the big boss.  But I knew he’d noticed and I’m pretty sure he appreciated it.

Bumping into each other in that Tesco Express was a bit of luck and I could tell that he wanted to stop and talk, but there was someone waiting in the car so he hurried off.  I’ve seen him there a few times since, but I’ve been keeping an eye out at a few of the other stores too and he might have switched to a different one.  I’m not surprised, they run out of stuff quite early on, it’s so popular there.

On the weekends he’s with her.  I followed them in town once and she’s really not very pretty.  They have a kid, ugly too, and I bet she trapped him on purpose.  I can’t see why he’d be with her otherwise, but it is just like him to try and be honourable.  I think the sooner he tells her about us the better.  It’ll just be harder on her if he waits.  She’s started giving him lifts to and from work, so I think she must have an idea.  He used to drive in and come out after work on a Friday, but she’s put a stop to all that. 

He’s up for promotion soon and that will mean less time together, but it’ll be worth it.  He’ll be up 2 floors but there are always support jobs coming up, so I’ll let him settle in and get myself moved too.  It’ll be so lovely.  I can’t wait for the next stage in our lives to begin.

Inspired by "Half a unit a day saves lives"

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