Straight after supper each night, Gerald headed for his
garden shed carrying a warm blanket and a flask of tea. Edna, Gerald’s wife of thirty six years,
understood he was a keen astronomer, so even though she sometimes missed him
when she sat watching television, knitting him a waistcoat or extra woolly, she
knew he could only indulge his passion at night.
Gerald did indeed indulge his passion at night, but with Maureen
at number 73, not Andromeda or the Great Bear.
Gerald sat in his folding chair, legs tucked up in the
blanket, looking out of the Perspex window in his shed. Next to him was a Stargazer 5000, purchased
second hand as a cover for his dalliance.
Gerald allowed himself a cup of tea every half hour as he settled down
to wait for Maureen’s signal.
Maureen’s husband worked a night shift at a local warehouse
and set out for work at half past eight every night. He’d occasionally forget his sandwiches or
his paper, so Maureen always allowed thirty minutes before signalling to
Gerald, just to be safe.
Gerald had proposed a rotating system of signals, so that
none of the neighbours should become suspicious. Mondays was opening and closing the back
bedroom curtains, Tuesdays was switching the bedroom light on and off,
Wednesdays was kitchen curtains and Thursdays was kitchen lights. Tonight he was watching for the back porch
light to turn on and off. Saturday was
club night with Edna and Sunday was, of course, church. Maureen and Dennis sometimes attended too,
adding a frisson of excitement for Gerald and Maureen, whilst poor Edna and
Dennis smiled on unaware.
Whatever the medium of the signal, the content was always
the same. One flash or swish meant
‘ready’ whilst two was ‘ready in five minutes.’
Repeated flashing or swishing, or heaven forbid both, meant ‘abandon all
plans’ usually because Dennis had a change of shift or a repeat of his dodgy
tummy.
Gerald got through his entire flask that evening without any
signal at all. He knew better than to
risk a visit without the all clear first, so he waited twenty more minutes,
then packed up and went inside. He
headed straight up to bed, tiptoeing past Edna’s room so not to wake her.
It was very unusual to hear nothing at all from Edna and
Gerald hoped she would be at the club or even at church so he could find an
excuse to speak to her and enquire what had happened. When she and Dennis were at neither he was
rather worried and began to long for Monday evening so he could see her again.
On Monday Gerald waited for two hours without any curtain
movement and on Tuesday, ninety minutes passed without any bedroom light
flashes. In desperation, Gerald flashed
the shed light on and off a few times, in the hopes of catching Maureen’s
attention, but there was no response.
Gerald began to fold his blanket, pack away his Stargazer
5000 and finish the last dregs of tea when he heard a gentle tap on the shed
door. Delighted with Edna’s apparent
impromptu visit, he opened the door, only to be amazed at the sight of Dennis
stood on the doorstep.
“Hello Gerald,” he said, eyeing the blanket Gerald was
folding. “Can I have a word?”
“Of course, Dennis.
What is it?” he said.
“It’s about Maureen.”
He swallowed and said, “I saw the light and...”
“Ah, well. Yes
Dennis, about that,” said Gerald.
“Sorry if you’re just off in to bed but I needed to talk to
someone. My Maureen’s got another man,”
said Dennis.
“Are you sure?” said Gerald, not sure whether to be relieved
Dennis didn’t suspect him or smug at how little the man knew. “I’m sure you’re worrying over nothing.”
“I wish I was,” said Dennis, “but she moved out last
Friday. Took all her clothes and left me
a note saying she wasn’t coming back.
Been seeing him behind my back for months apparently. I never saw it coming, Gerald.”
“No,” replied Gerald, “the signals aren’t always very
clear.”
Inspired by "No signal from targeted ET hunt"
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