Thursday, 29 November 2012

213: Jake Drives the Red Car

I didn’t want to fight him, just have a word with him.  Make sure he knew she’s my bird and he’s not to touch.  I don’t want her seeing him at all but I can’t tell Carly that, she’d flip.  She said before that I can’t go telling her who she can and can’t see, so I reckon if I get him to not want to see her, I won’t have told her will I?

Will texted me and I was still in bed.  “Who wuz that guy wiv your mrs in the 3 Feathers?” he sent.  Steven thinks he knows him, said he’s a new guy up at that SupaValu where he works.  So I messaged him and said I was coming to have a word and could he let me in the back way.  I did get a bit worked up I grant you, and my bro said if I insisted on going he had to come too.  Fine by me, a handy bit of backup as I see it.

But Matt did go on and on all the way to the store and the more he said it was a bad idea, the more I knew he was right and the more I knew I had to do it.  I couldn’t lose face, could I, not now the lads are finding out.  None of them would let another bloke get away with seeing their birds and I couldn’t have them thinking I would.  By the time we got there I think that was more of the issue than what was happening with Carly, Jake the wuss.

Truth is I know she’s far too good for me and I’ve been expecting this for a while.  There’s me with no proper job, not many prospects, not much money and she’s stunning and clever and kind and funny.  She’s bound to get fed up of me and want someone else.  Even a job in SupaValu is still a job.  She says I’m being silly and she loves me but why ever would she?  What’s in it for her?

I hate feeling like that.  I love her so much and she makes me so happy but inside I know I’m probably driving her away.  She doesn’t like fighting but guys like me just do that kind of thing, we all do.  I’m not good with words like she is.  I speak with my actions and sometimes I get angry and shout out loud with both fists.  So when some guy is chatting her up I want to make sure he gets a loud message that she is mine.  At least mine for now.

I was driving too fast and thinking too slow and when I got into the car park I was that weird mix of excited and scared and brave and stupid.  I was lucky, I know that now.  I might have killed someone not just knocked bumpers with an old biddy in a big blue car.  But I swear I wouldn’t have hit her if it wasn’t for that dog I swerved to avoid.  Imagine if Carly found out I beat up her new boyfriend and killed a dog in the same day.  At least the dog was OK although nobody else saw it, just me.  Must have scarpered when it heard the bang.

It might have saved more than its own life too.  I couldn’t go off and find the guy, not once I was crashed.  Steven up to me all “We gonna get him?” but I don’t think even he thought I’d still want to do it afterwards.  And maybe I can just tell Carly I was shopping or something when she says why was I in SupaValu.

When I got out to look at my bumper, I saw the old couple in the blue car, sat rigid and not speaking to each other.  Another couple were coming across the car park, arguing.  I knew then that I wanted to get to being old with Carly, together until we were both about 60 or something.  So the dog saved me from maybe making the biggest mistake of all by getting at this guy so my Carly might decide to dump me because of it.

I have to learn to use my words.  I have to start speaking the same language as the woman I love.

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