We are Richard and Robert and we are nearly 3. We have been to SupaValu with our mother. She makes us sit in the hard upright seats in her trolley and forces our legs through the gaps in the metal. It hurts our knees and makes us scream. Then she doesn’t like us very much, we can see it in her face.
She has a pretty face, soft like peaches and her eyes are pale green. We like it when she gives us butterfly kisses but she doesn’t remember to do that very often. Sometimes she is too busy to remember the things we like so we help reminder her with shouting and pointing. We are not sure if that helps her remember or not. She gets that face again. We don’t like the face.
We like our red and blue matching outfits, which help her tell us apart. Now we are nearly 3 we can undress each other and swap shirts. She thinks she knows who each of us is but she doesn’t. We have been swapping about a lot. But sometimes we don’t swap shirts, especially if she got us both wrong to start with. We think that is funny. It makes us laugh. She thinks Richard is older and Robert is taller but one of us is older and taller, the other younger and shorter. We can pretend that too.
Mother moves our trolley too far away from the shelves so we can’t get things unless she says so. A nice lady might help move us closer and then we grab things even if we don’t want them and put them in our trolley or maybe in her trolley as a thank you. Mother usually notices and puts things back so we have to try lots of times so we win. We always win, in a way. We like shiny packets and colourful boxes and things that make a noise. Crisps are good and make a crunchy sound when we clap on the bags.
Today we wanted pizzas but she wouldn’t let us because we didn’t eat the last one she bought. And we wanted cake and ice cream too but she put those back. We hid biscuits under the bread so she didn’t see them. We made our face then but ours is happier. And we help at the checkout by looking at all the things she has picked, in case we have to throw any of them away because they are wrong.
She wheeled us back to the car and wouldn’t let us watch the man in the car that hit the other car. The Richard shirt car hit the Robert shirt car and the Robert shirt car hit the Richard shirt car. She said she would bump us together like the cars but we were eating biscuits so she couldn’t. We got crumbs in her hair when she put us into our car. They matched her eyes and we accidentally gave her a smile. She dropped her face and put on her butterfly kisses face. We gave her a sticky kiss and left biscuit on her cheek.