Thursday, 30 August 2012

122: Heart Breaker

My darling daughter

It’s your birthday and that means another year that you have been in my life.  Funny, it’s only been 2 years but I can’t really recall life before then.  Not a life with such meaning and such reward as you bring me.  Not a life with such beauty.  Your smile does light up a room and take away my breath and all those other clichéd things from songs.  They’re still true though and I want everyone I meet, ever, to know it.

That first day you smiled up at me I thought I would burst with joy.  Smiles make your nose crinkle and your eyes twinkle and you sparkle like a firework.   That first day you grabbed my finger and held tight, I wanted to grab you back and hold on forever.  Each new milestone brings me more happiness than I even knew I could feel.  First words, first steps, first day at school, each a new triumph for you and each a catch of breath for me.  My job is to love you and treasure you and help you grow into the world.  How can I want to see you reach your full potential yet want to hold you close to me always, keep you safe from the world?

Your gift to me is more wondrous than anything I can ever give you.  When you are sad it makes my soul cry.  I would give anything to stop you from ever feeling any hurt.  I will never let you down and I will always be on your team.  I would give my life for you to be happy always.

Each year on this day I will remember the day we first met.  I’ll replay everything that happened on that day, from grabbing my bag for the hospital to holding your tiny fist deep in the night when we were finally alone.  I loved not having to share you with anyone, just for a while.  I took a breath of you, smelling your scent and your new baby smell was the most perfect smell ever made. 

Forever isn’t long enough for me to love you.  I love you baby girl.  I always have and I always will.

Your mother xxx

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