Monday, 20 August 2012

112: Wing It

“Are you really sure I’m the man for the job?”
“You’re perfect for the job.  My first choice every time.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Oh yes.  I need a wingman I can trust and I trust you completely.”
“So run it by me again Guy, what I have to do?”
“Selina will be at the bar tonight with her friend Jo.  I’ve been hitting on her for, like, ages, and I’m nearly in there.  One more push and she’ll succumb to my charms.  But she hates to leave Jo on her own, so I need you to sweet-talk Jo.”
“But I’m crap at that.  If I knew how to talk to girls I’d have my own girlfriend.”
“Come on buddy.  Just this one time.  You never know, it could be love for you too.”
“So it’s love for you then?  Or just lust?  You just want to shag her don’t you?”
“Look, you might get a shag too.  So I just want a bit of fun.  Hey, they’re here.  Those 2 girls, blond, black dresses.  Let them get settled and you wander over, start chatting to Jo.”
“Which one is Jo then?”
“Well obviously she is the slightly… less attractive one of the pair.  That’s kind of how this works.  I’ll do the same for you one day.  What do you say?”

“Evening ladies, I’m Mark.  I couldn’t help but notice you both looking so lovely.  Could I get you both a drink?”
“Hi Mark.  Why not?  We’re both on voddie and cokes please.  Aren’t we Jo?”
“Yeah, same as always.  It’s always the same.”
“Be right back.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave you here.  He’s cute but not my type.  But see his friend over there?  He’s much more like it.”
“You do know this is a setup don’t you?”
“Of course.  I’ve seen him in here before, he usually has a wingman.  That’s one of the better ones if I’m honest.”
“So what?  I have to get off with him so you can have his mate?  Jesus, Selina.  I thought it would be just us.”
“It’ll be fun.  And cheap.  Look, here they both come.   Try not to notice the other one.”

“Look, I’m sorry…”
“Me too.  They deserve each other.  I think I’ll call it a night.  See if the silly cow even notices.”
“Ha, fat chance.  Shall I walk you?  Home, or the taxi or whatever.  I feel a bit guilty and it’s not as if Guy needs me anymore.”
“Thanks, that would be nice.  But let’s not tell them we’ve gone.”
“Want to get something to eat on the way?  If you like, I mean.”
“Go on then.  Buffalo wings maybe?”

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