Saturday, 29 December 2012

243: The Glitch

If it hadn’t happened Callum would never have discovered his wife was a robot.  Katie was perfect in every way that was important to him and they were a wonderful match.  Everybody said they were made for each other and in her case, they were more right than they could have imagined.

Grammar, that’s what did it.  When the grammar code started to fail in her programming and she began using grocers’ apostrophes and misusing its and it’s, he thought she was doing it to tease him.  He pointed out her mistakes and she said she was disinterested.  He showed her examples and she said it had no affect on her.

Callum reminded Katie of the conversations they’d shared, laughing together at online images showing bad punctuation and discussing what things really meant when the apostrophe went the wrong side of an ‘s’.  She said so what if their wrong, that’s they’re problem.

He said she used to care about that kind of thing and what happened to change that.  She said she thought maybe a footballer scoring against his old club might really be ironic.  She slapped him in the face and accompanied it with the declaration “White faded to grey and Strunk is stupid bastard.”

When he grabbed her arm to stop her hitting him again, he felt a slip of very realistic rubberized skin on metallic sub-structure.  He heard a little whirr and a clicking as her eyes turned to meet his gaze and he wondered how he ever could have failed to notice such an obvious thing about a woman he’d spent three years with.  Maybe he could still love her, if she got an upgrade or a patch to fix her glitch.

But when she said she was no different than when they first met and what did it matter if she thought ‘10 items or less’ was correct, he reached deep into the back of her head, removed the battery pack and threw it would of the window onto the street below.

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