Thursday, 27 December 2012

241: The Animal Within

Colin lied three times and all three were on national television.

Firstly he didn’t think Colin was the sort of name that any attractive young lady would wish for her man-friend, so he told them his name was Eduardo.  He thought it made him sound exotic, mysterious, enticing.  But his friends all knew he was really just Colin Perkins, named after his mother’s uncle.

Secondly he thought working in admin at the Inland Revenue might not win him the heart of a modern miss, so he told them he was a city investment banker with a large portfolio and clients so famous he couldn’t mention their names.  But his friends knew he chased unpaid tax from individuals named G through to L in the Blackpool area.

Thirdly, well his third lie was more an exaggeration, but it was the worst.  The others maybe the guys could understand and even forgive with a little bit of gentle ribbing.  They knew how it was when you wanted to get a woman.

But when Nadine from Birmingham told Cilla her question to number 3 was “What kind of animal is there inside you?” he should never have said “I’m a thoroughbred Arabian steed, mane flowing in the warm breeze and I’ll gallop away with your heart” when all the guys knew inside Colin was much more like My Little Pony.

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