I want to feel like I’m flying. I want the wind to ruffle my hair and make my eyes stream. I want the view and the quiet from up high. I want to gulp cold until my chest hurts. I want to feel my adrenaline pump. I want to take off my ratty jacket and leave it here before I go. I want to find the right words to say. I want to be sure I’m alone. I want the time to do it my own way. I want the strength. I want the peace. I want them to understand. I want to be blamed. I want to feel better on the way down, even for the shortest while. I want to scream and I want to cry. I want to start screaming and crying years ago. I want to blame. I want it not to be too late. I want to be sorry. I want it to stop.
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