279: Life of Brian

We were so proud when he told us but this isn’t quite what we were expecting.  I’m not sure even he expected it, at least not to this level.  Especially after it all happened first time round.  Twice, and both times so completely different.

The first time it was musical.  That pop group with a funny name.  Me and his father could never understand why they put the dots after the first letter, but then I suppose that’s why he was in a band and we never were.  Gerald thought about joining a Big Band once but they already had two trumpeters and he hadn’t mastered the trombone to the level they wanted. 

His hair was different back then, all long and shiny.  We thought he looked like a girl from behind and his father wanted to take a pair of scissors to it, but I didn’t let him.  We might be from Oldham, I said to him, but we are bankers from Oldham.  We don’t resort to that kind of thing.

Thank goodness he carried on with his studies because did the high life last?  No, course not.  Does it ever, unless you’re Cliff or Paul McCartney and even they have gone off the boil in recent years?   So at least he had a solid career to fall back on, like we always advised him.  And it led to this one didn’t it.  In a way the band splitting up was the best thing because he went back and learnt even more until he became this big, special expert.

We have some of the awards he’s won on our mantle.  My friend Janice remembers him when he was a tiny tot and crocheted him a matinee jacket and she does love to come round and wonder what he’d look like in a matinee jacket now.  She sits in the best chair, eyeing the things on display and I know she’s wondering where the time went, just like I do.  Well, she doesn’t know anyone else on telly so I let her have her moments.

I wouldn’t say we know anyone else on telly as such but he has introduced us to a few people and we went to the palace with him of course.  I’d like to meet Greg from Masterchef so I’ll have to see if he could get on the celebrity version and maybe I could go and watch the filming.  He’s not a bad cook, I suppose.  I don’t think he has the time to do too much really.

And now he’s a professor and we are both so proud.  He deserves it too, it’s not something they handed out because he’s a bit famous.  But it’s a shame his hair is still a bit girly and long at the back.  He still looks like a pop star, don’t you think?